Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Well, my life has been complety consumed 100% by school and theatre. I got to be in one of my dream shows at the beginning of the semester. It was amazing. (and if I hadn't mentioned before, I do do theatre). Couldn't have asked for anything less...


On the guy front, there's good news... and bad news.


Bad news: Nate has a girlfriend. I was wondering why I wasn't hearing from him anymore. I figured that because he's doing his music, he's too busy to talk. Well, guess not. I swear he tends to down grade when he dates a girl. What's funny is, right when I got cast in the show I was in, he said he really wanted to come here to see me in the show, and to show him around town. I guess right after that he met his new girl. And it's too bad I don't hear from him. I was really bummed when I saw his relationship status chance on facebook. And thank you Adele for writing a perfect song. If I ever see him, I'll sing it for him. And maybe he'll get the picture. We've always been close friends even when he's seeing a girl. Oh well. Life goes on.


OH. By the way: I remember him telling me at one time he just didn't have time at all for a girl in his life. HAH. Guess things change.


Good news: I've sort of met another guy...ish. Listen, it's really hard meeting straight guys in the theatre world. So in one of my theatre classes, this guy, whom I'll call Charles (or Chuck. Currently obsessed with the character on GG) sits right next to me. Pretty good looking. Not Ryan Gosling or anything. But a nice guy. Fratstar. Sarcastic. I don't think I've ever been into a guy who is sort of like me. In the way I'm not ever serious about anything. So, maybe it's a good thing. We'll see where this leads... and hopefully I'll update my blog more often.


anddd... the UGLY: Nothing to do with a guy, but I must vent. One of my room mates thinks that everything revolves around her. There is nothing more I hate than people who think that. She's always trying to tell me and the other room mates what to do. As if she were our mom. HAH! But, I ignore her 99% of the time. No need to deal with her petty problems.


here's to night day in another city


-B

Again... It's Been A While

Well, life. It's been crazy. Traveling from home to another state. Moving out of one apartment, while staying at a friends until I can actually move into my house. (It's on 5th Ave. Perfect, right?) Of course, it's not the 5th Ave. in NYC. Not by a long shot! But the house is really cute. 


Not a whole lot going on the guy front... Talk has been really limited with me and Nate. He's always off doing his thing. I've gotten a few texts here and there. Nothing home to write about. Maybe with this new semester something or someone will come along...


Oh, let me add. Being back here is so nice. Everyone is SO friendly! It's a nice change of scenery. 


Anyway.


Here's to a night in another city...


-B

It's been forever, I know

Sheesh! I've had so much going on recently that I haven't had time to sit and write. Well, after I jammed with Nate, I didn't see him again. We've just barely talked since then. I'm not sure what to think of it at all. For me, it didn't seem like closure. But, if that's all I get then oh well. I asked if he was going to be back in town soon, but it wouldn't be until I was back at school.


My trip to Cali was amazing. Perfect weather, wine wine wine, hippies, hipsters and vodka tasting. Also, got burnt to a crisp at the beach. That will teach me not to wear sunscreen. 


Randomly, a guy that I went on a few dates with (Jeff- refer back to posts in May) started to talk to me on facebook. I thought, how nice! (really, not sarcastically!) We hadn't talked in a while, but he has had a girl friend. Things turned awkward fast. Just as they were when we dated. Oh well. 


Maybe being back at school will clear my head of this silliness called boys!


Here's to a night in another city...


-B 

"I was just thinking how we don't have a song"

Well, this has been quite the interesting past two days. Yesterday Nate and I were planning on going to a bar last night to get drinks. Well, him being the typical him, never responded back about where we were going to meet. Sigh. Then later that night he sent me a text saying sorry I never answered but hey, I'm going to lunch with [insert other friend] and you should come too. So, today I finally saw him after... maybe a year. At first thought our plan was to meet at noon at a restaurant but then we didn't hear from the other friend and he told me we should just hang out after his gig tomorrow night. Well dummy, I already told you I'm going out of town!! And, I had already gotten dressed up all nice AND did my hair. So, there was no way I was not going to see him. Luckily it did work out. After lunch we went down to a lake in my city to "jam". Although his definition of "jam" is listening to him sing and play guitar. It was fun, at least we spent time together. But, it was getting reaaaalllly hot. He had to leave anyway to see some relatives so that's when the fun ended. He said he'd "maybe" see me tonight but we alllll know what that means. 


So, that's it for now... perhaps another entry later...


Here's to a night day in another city...


-B

Short Update

Well, today Nate is in town. Anyone want to take bets that he will blow me off again? He's staying for a while, but Thursday I'm headed out west (to my least favorite state) to visit a relative. Which I am really excited about though. I'm not much of a west coast girl. I prefer the east. 


here is the short conversion I had with Nate yesterday:


me: So are we going to hang out when you're here?
nate: if you want!
[[in my head]]: no, stupid I was asking for the hell of it. sarc / Hello, YES. 
me: yeah def
-end of convo-

seriously...?


todays entry is just a short one. please feel free to leave comments!


here's to night day in another city


-B

Carrie Bradshaw, You are NO Help

I got to thinking last night when I was watching SATC, what did the guys think when Carrie wrote about them in her newspaper column? I've watched every episode and really I can't remember ever her talking about whatever happened. Did they hate it? Were they flattered?


I began to think about this because, what if Nate or any of the other guys stumbled across this and realized that I was talking about them. Flattered? Or freaked? So if any of you guys that I have mentioned accidently have stumbled across this, YOU SHOULD BE FLATTERED. (IMO). So here's the truth. And maybe now you can understand what a women's mind thinks. You are the only men (except the gay guys, love y'all!) who I have held interest in. Nate, you are the closest. I've always considered you a really close friend, but let me tell you, you sure as hell seem to blur the line sometimes. 


So thanks Carrie, for never, ever showing us what the men thought. Mr. Big? Aiden? I'd like to know, thanks.


To close this evening's blog, I leave you this SATC quote, "When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho". 


Here's to a night in another city...


-B

"I'm going to Jackson", "See if I care"

To all readers: there was one little thing I forgot to mention about Nate and the possibility going to see him, in which I got a lame excuse. He asked me to sing a duet(s) with him because he was playing a show that night. I got really, REALLY excited about that because I haven't sung any country on stage before. Of course though, the only duet I could think of us doing is "Jackson" ( by Johnny Cash and June Carter). And even if that was the only song I didn't mind at all. So now you see why I was very disappointed. 


Whenever I'm back home and I see my old friends they always ask, "Blair, are you still friends with Nate?" Why yes friends, I still am. They think he's a real jerk for never seeing me. I get their point, but they also don't ever talk to him. As I had mentioned before, we really have never ran in the same circles so I would have no reason to see him when he was back in town. (Except obviously I want to). 


There was this one time where I did get really mad, because he did blow me off.  He was in town and I said you know, "hey lets hang out!" and I think he said he couldn't because he was with family, or something that did not include hanging out with friends. So, whatever. I decided to go to dinner with another friend. Funny how things work out. He just happened to be at the same restaurant with some friends. Wow. So I text him and say, "hey Nate, turn around. I can see you". Yeah that sounds creepy but come on, seriously? Stop with the excuses! He finally sees that he saw me and does nothing. Whatever. Boys suck. 


that's all for tonight.


here's to a night in another city...


-B

Crazy Confusion and the "Emo" Boy

I have been computer-less for a few days and it has been KILLING me. And now, I finally have it back. Well... it looks as if I won't be seeing Nate. His lame excuse was that he "forgot" he had work on Friday. Even though I planned on asking off I don't see why he couldn't do the same. Oh well. He'll be here in town on Tuesday. Maybe, hah, MAYBE I'll see him. I just don't get him these days. 


So... that new guy. David. What a laugh. Listen, I'm a really nice person. I usually give every guy a chance that seems interested in me. We went to the same high school (what is it with high school guys trying to get in touch with me?) and we were never really friends. We just had a few mutual friends. But this guy, well, lets just say he wants to play "Anthony Wiener". He says, "oh just send a picture to me in what you're wearing. here's one of me". Picture sent: EMO KID. or hipster. Which ever you prefer. He says, "Oh please please, just send me one of you." Sorry pal, not interested. I told him to just facebook stalk me if he was interested in seeing what I look like. He said it's "creepy" to do that. Yeah, whatever. Isn't facebook for creeping anyway? I decided, welp, I've lost all interest. 


I decide to text Nate for some advice because I really don't want to be rude and let this guy down. He said to tell him I'm just not that into him. I think that is really blunt and I'm not mean! He then said I should lie and say I'm already talking to someone else. I just said I would resort to ignoring him. I don't think he gets the hint. My phone keeps blowing up. So, we'll see how that turns out...


In other news, too many friends who are YOUNG and in their early 20's keep getting engaged. Seriously? Your life has just begun. I've decided I probably won't get married until late 20's and maybe 30. Nate and I made a deal that if we weren't married by then we would just marry each other. Maybe he'll have a stellar job by then! Or maybe me... 


anyway, that's all I have for tonight today. 


Here's to a day in another city. 


-B

Springtime for Me in the South

Ahhhh spring time. The sun is shining, the air feels fresh, and of course, crawfish boils. This spring has been, well somewhat eventful and somewhat not eventful whatsoever. Nate. oh Nate. We really didn't keep in touch over spring. We talked about music, summer plans, nothing to get excited over. (Well actually there was a bit of flirtation, but nothing to write home about).  Wait I lied! He was watching [insert film] and how I reminded him of [insert really amazing, gorgeous actress]. I was really flattered! 


Unfortunately, I was amongst the people who were hit hard from the storms that blew over the south. It was scary, shocking, devastating and everything in between. The storm hit my city really bad that my power was out in my apartment for several days. I eventually just headed back to my home because it was not livable. I left all of my friends on short notice and it was hard. But I know this was really, really hard on my family. I made it out alive (obviously) and I'm so blessed that nothing happened to me or any of my friends. 


So here we go back at home: Most of my friends had gotten in touch with me that were from high school or friends that I didn't go to school with to ask if I was okay. But, to my surprise NOTHING from Nate. Zip. Nadda. Nothing. I finally think, well, I'm just going to text him to see what he says. I was trying to be all cute and say "Hey, I was wondering if you were ever going to ask if I got blown away like Dorothy!" His reply was 1) I didn't know it was that bad 2) I saw on FB that you were okay. 
Well thanks, that's great, but really? REALLY!? You couldn't have taken just a few minutes to make sure I'm really okay? *Sigh*


Well, I think he did feel bad that he never asked how I was. Then randomly out of nowhere- Nate: hey when are you waking up tomorrow? 
me: huh? 
nate: tomorrow 
me: uh 10, why? 
nate: see, I have this test tomorrow and I was hoping you would be a doll and wake me up in the morning to make sure I'm up. 
me: you're too funny. are you out partying or something?
nate:  nope, just studying
me: haha, well I feel bad for you since my finals were cancelled
nate: so would you? :)


Yes, I did. I gave in. So funny that after I gave him his "wake up call" I just happened to need one the next day. Oh, he was a "doll" and called me in the morning. This went on for a few days. It was actually really cute!


So over the past few weeks he has been bugging me to come down and visit him. Listen, I'm dying to. Just currently I don't have time with a job. Then finally he asks me to come down in a few weeks. It was the perfect timing so I said yes. OH. But oh. He then says "Oh actually, I have work that day...Bad timing?" I'm sorry bad timing? I asked for that day off. You can't? He finally says, oh well I guess I'll ask tomorrow at work if I can. YEAH. You better. For someone who keeps bugging me to visit him, you would think he would get pretty excited when I could finally come down to visit. Who knows. Updates to come.


In the mean time... I had a random guy friend from high school, who I'd really call just a mutual friend decided to facebook message me... oh David...


Here's to a night in another city...


-B

Autumn, It Feels Like Autumn

To continue where I left off...


Somewhere around mid to late September I get a text from Nate. I'm really not entirely shocked really. But around the same time, one of my friend's set me up with one of her guy friends who was in a fraternity. I needed a date to a date party and he ended up being my date. We can call him...Joseph. Now Joseph was a really nice guy. In fact (not to brag) he was loaded.   I've never really been the shallow type but I didn't mind at all that his family was doing quite well. He was decent looking (nothing like Chace Crawford or Robert Pattinson). The only thing was...he had a boring personality. And he put on the moves way to fast. 


I'm going to sound like a horrible, horrible person but... when I knew I was getting tired of him... I sort of started to use him for his money. I was broke! Being in college aint easy. Listen, it was seriously only for dinner and going out. But I felt bad after that and just stopped answering his texts. 


Okay! I feel like I'm almost up to speed with my current dating life. 


Nate. Oh Nate. Things went on and on texting back and forth etc. And then randomly, we decides we should Skype. I am seriously floored because he is so shy I never expected that to come out of him. Of course Christmas break comes around and again I don't get to see him. So then there's NYE.


I plan on going to a friends place for the night of NYE and Nate just happened to be in town. I knew he already had plans but I told him that he should just come to this party anyway. He said he wouldn't but whatever. I was bored by then. I'm on my way to my friend's place when I get a call from him begging me to go hang out with him before I head to my friend's place. I try and tell him that I can't. I'm already half way there and it was nearly 11:30. I kinda felt bad, but at the same time I was not going to give in and drive all the way back to see him for just a short while. Chances are, he had been drinking. 


With that behind us I decided I would give him another chance to hang out, the day before I was heading back to school. Well... lets just say that really didn't turn out the way it should have....


to be continued again.


Here's to another night in another city


-B

Autumn after a Summer in the City...and a Little Bit More

As soon as I get back from the city, I had only a short time till I had to get back to school. Unfortunately (sort of) I had to get back early for sorority rush. Going through rush is hell but being on the other side isn't that bad. Anyway, after not hearing from Rhys a few months in I gave up. Strangely enough, I didn't have that feeling of being sad. I guess it's because, well, Nate was still around.

I kept in touch with him but I met some new guys. One was a guy with a bad boy reputation, Jeff and the other who many people would call a "frat star" (Greek lingo for the quintessential Fraternity boy) , Jonathan Rhys Myers. Yes- that is the name of an actual Hollywood star, but I'm using his name for the purpose that the "frat star" goes by 3 names like Jonathan Rhys Myers.  To this day I have never called him just by his first name. I can't remember if anyone has either.

Both great guys. I had a small stint with Jeff, but it really didn't last long. Things with him just seemed... slow. Don't get me wrong, I really like to take it slow when I'm first dating a guy...but this was slower than a turtle. Up until recently I sort of kept in touch.

Now for JRM, I still talk to him. Everyone at school adores him. For most guys at this school who are a part of the arts were gay. No problem with that except that left for only a few straight guys. Girls pined over JRM! I never really ever went on a date with him but we would hang out at parties occasionally. 

After fall semester I decided to take the spring semester off. I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do with school or my life, so it helped just to clear my mind for a semester. No worries, I did go back to school the following fall. 

Over the summer I never got to see Nate. It was hard since he was barely in my city since he had moved elsewhere with his parents. We always talked about hanging out but it just never worked out. As school neared... I get a text from him saying we couldn't really "talk" anymore since he had a girlfriend. Listen I get it. Sort of. Nate and I were more friends than anything and to be honest, we really know just about everything about each other. But I have plenty of close guy friends from HS that I've kept up with who have girlfriends and they don't seem to mind. So lets just say we didn't really talk much until things ended with his girlfriend in October...

Oh, by the way, I would receive texts from him saying that he wanted me to get him a small gig where I went to uni. I said of course I would and then it happened. He asked where he could stay and naturally I said the couch. He retorted (and he still had a gf at this point) with "well, we could share a bed. friends share beds". I'm pretty sure I asked if he was still dating his gf and he said yes. If I can remember correctly, I didn't ever reply back. 

And of course out of nowhere, I get the most flirtatious text...and things have ended with him and the gf.

To be continued. 

Here's to a night in another city.

-B

There was Nate...and then the new guy

Well, starting off that summer I was in the city. Randomly out of nowhere a guy from high school that I just knew of, not personally, decided to talk to me on fb. Now he is absolutely gorgeous. He did some modeling back in the day, so I was sort of caught off guard that someone like him would talk to someone like me. Needless to say we hit it off quick. We had so much in common it was crazy. At that time I thought, now this is the one. Now I have never ever thought to get an MRS, but for him I certainly would. I still talked to Nate but all I cared about was the new guy Rhys. 


As soon as I got back from the city he asked me on a date. Everything was perfect. He is the description of a southern gentleman. Of course it came time for me to pack up and hit the road back to school while he was still going to be back at home. We kept up for a while when I was back at school but as the semester progressed we lost touch. Up until about two months ago I hadn't talked to him since then. He texted me that he had heard something that made me think of him so he thought it would be perfect to tell me about it. I was SO excited to see that he was getting back in touch with me. But, I soon found out he was married and had a kid. Well, that just ended everything right then and there. 


But that's okay. Because I still had Nate...


here's to a night in another city


-B

Nate: Part Deux

So, to pick up from last night, Nate started texting me just the day after things broke off with him and his girlfriend. Seriously. The next day. Shocked? Yes. Happy? Very. We talk and talk and keep up with each other all semester. Texting mid day, texting at night, you get the picture. We sort of talk about what exactly is going on with us. We are great friends. Close even! But we realize it's such a gray area. Neither of us can date because of distance but we don't want to lose what we have. It was a sort of spark I guess. 

Then we have it all planned. We would hang out as much as we could over the summer. The only bummer to this is that he didn't live in my city any more. His parents retired to another city, but it's not too terribly far away.

I should mention, he's a tad bit shy. I know, you wouldn't think so at all with all of the girlfriends he seems to have. He tells me he's playing guitar at [insert place] and that I should go. I show up and run into some people I went to high school with, but it was sort of awkward because I was never in their friend group. So there is he. On stage. Singing his little heart out. Okay he's really not perfect. He has that sort of old timey country sound but it could be refined. At any rate, it still makes my heart skip a beat. Afterwards, because he is shy, he decides to sit at a table just a few feet away, back towards me. Instead of talking to my face, we just text. Talk about awkward.  

It was getting late and things weren't panning out so I left. He didn't exactly realize that I had left and just after I had left he texts me and asks where I am. Alas, I was too far away to go back.

Things never really worked out that summer. I ended up going to the city for the summer to do some work so it left no time to see him. Of course, he kept in touch.

Just as I was giving up on Nate... a new guy shows up in the picture: Rhys.

more to come. eyes are getting heavy again. 

here's to a night in another city

-B

A New Day

To state the obvious, this is my first blog. It was late this night that I was watching Sex and the City and kept thinking that just like Carrie, I needed to write out my so-called dating life. Unfortunately for me, I am not in "the city". But boy, I do have just as many issues as Carrie did. I hope that like Carrie I can give some advice and help others that are going through the same things I am. 


So, first off. About me. I am anonymous. But, you can just call me Blair. To protect the innocent and well, sometimes guilty, I will not reveal the real names of people that are written in this blog. I live down in Dixie Land and I love it. Don't get me wrong, I am a city girl. My go to city is NYC. But, the South is just somthin' else. 


So, here's my first "issue":
I got to thinking here tonight that I need more men in my life. Not boys or guys, but men. I am what you would call a "fag hag". I am very much a part of the arts and well, I just seem to pick up many gay friends on the way. If any of you readers don't have a gay guy friend, go seek one. You need a Stanford or an Anthony. You won't regret it. Scouts honor!
I have this guy friend, who we'll call Nate, that I've kept in touch with since high school. (I'm post HS ). Yes, I have kept in touch for many years. We met my senior year of high school. We always knew of each other but we ran in different circles. I was in the arts, he was in the sports. The only reason we got to know each other is because of some community service that we did together. So from then on out we kept in touch. In high school I always had a little bit of a crush on him. He was the cute popular guy who played sports but also had that sensitive side since he was a singer. At some point in time and really I can't remember when, we exchanged numbers. And that was it. For me, everything seemed to be on overdrive. Sure, I dated in high school, but this was it. He was perfect. We both had the same morals, we had so much in common but, he just didn't want to date. I was crushed. No matter, we still kept in touch. Graduation came and we both went our ways. He stayed in state while I went far across to another state. Within the first semester he had a girlfriend. No shock to me because he knew how to flirt and use his cute southern charms. Fast forward to the next semester. He has broken up with this girlfriend and then all of the sudden, he's talking to me again.


that's all for tonight. my eyes can't stay open for much longer.


here's to a night in another city.


-B